Our Heavenly Father loves all His children unconditionally. His greatest desire is that we all return to His presence and share in the blessings of Eternal Life with Him. In Moses we read, "For behold, this is my work and my glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39)
        To gain these blessings we must become like Him, we must develop self mastery and obedience. Because we all fall short and need help in becoming sanctified, the Savior was foreordained to redeem mankind upon the condition of repentance. We have been clearly taught that God requires us to be  chaste and morally clean. Sexual feelings are sacred. They are God given to mankind for the miracle of procreation and for the loving unity of husband and wife who are lawfully married.
        Disobedience to the law of chastity causes loss of closeness to the Spirit of God, spiritual guilt, and the need for repentance to overcome the punishment of the law. It is the adversary's plan to tempt mankind into sexual sin.
        Those who are discouraged, idle, lacking dedication, insecure, feeling low self-esteem, lonely, unhappy, or self-centered are more vulnerable to sexual temptation. The adversary seeks to convince those who are in these circumstances that sexual feelings are a way to escape, to feel better. If one accepts this propaganda and gives into sexual temptation, a pattern of escaping through sexual behavior can quickly develop.
        Severe sexual habituation or dependency can also develop, leading to spiritual isolation and other tragic errors.
        Following are some proven recommendations to resist sexual sin and achieve self mastery. I have found these suggestions to be effective in dealing with such sexual behavior as masturbation and use of pornography.

1. Pray fervently morning and night, and when you are not praying vocally, always have a prayer in your hear. "Yea and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare." (Alma 34:27) Pray specifically for strength to conquer sexual temptation. If sexual thoughts ender your mind begin to pray immediately for the strength to expel them.

2. Diligently study the scriptures each day, especially the Book of Mormon, and then the Doctrine and Covenants. Study the specific teachings on chastity, self mastery, etc., in the Topical Guide. In Alma 31:5 we read that the word of God had a more powerful effect upon the minds of the people that anything else.

And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just-yea, it had a more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them-therefore Alma thought it was expedient that they should try the virtue of the word of God. (Alma 31:5)

Read or recite scriptures when faced with sexual temptation. Read the Book of Mormon for 10-15 minutes just before you have evening prayer and go to sleep. This will strengthen thought control in the evening.

3. Fast with real purpose, more often than once a month when needed to strengthen self control. Study the promises and instructions regarding fasting in Isaiah 58:3-11. Speaking to His disciples who were seeking spiritual power, the Savior said, "This kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting." (Matthew 17:22)

4. Always remember that you are of great worth to your Heavenly Father. Doctrine and Covenants 18:10 counsels us to "Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God." Heavenly Father loves you as an equal. Mosiah 27:4 states, "...every man should esteem his neighbor as himself." Realizing your divine worth and equality is the foundation of healthy self esteem and self confidence. When a person feels good about themselves they have a greater desire for self mastery.

5. Work hard, even with all your heart, might, mind and strength in proclaiming the Gospel and serving the Lord. Idleness or wasting time is an invitation to sexual temptation. President Ezra Taft Benson taught that diligent work invites the Spirit of the Lord into our lives. (Missionary guide, P. 32) When we are anxiously engaged in the Lord's work sexual temptation has less power on us. Dedicate yourself to excel in your work and/or schooling. Stay busy with growth activities.

6. Develop total control over what you look at. Never let your eyes concentrate upon that which is sexually stimulating. Eye control is the beginning of thought control. Doctrine and Covenants 88:67 states, "And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole body shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you."

7. Develop total control over your thoughts. This is absolutely necessary in overcoming sexual temptation. Improper sexual thoughts may enter the mind from various sources. The key to self mastery is to immediately expel them by saying to yourself "STOP," and then replace them with a predetermined spiritual though, song, or prayer such as "I Need Thee Every Hour" or "For God So Loved the World that He Gave His only Begotten Son..." Doctrine and Covenants 121:45 states, "Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence was strong in the presence of God." Thought control is the beginning of self control. Failure to control one's thoughts weakens behavioral control. Doctrine and Covenants 42:23 states, "And he that looketh upon a woman to lust after her shall deny the faith, and shall not have the Spirit; and if he repents not he shall be cast out."

Sow a thought, reap an action
Sow an action, reap a habit
Sow a habit, reap a character
Sow a character, reap a destiny
Author unknown

8. Do not read literature, watch programs, listen to music, discuss any topic or visit any place that would be sexually suggestive. Do everything you can to manage the environment you are in and avoid entering any tempting environment. If you control your eyes, your thoughts, and your environment you will be able to control your feelings and behaviors.

9. Lose yourself in the welfare of others. Think of other's need first. Love all those around you. The Savior said, "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it." (Matthew 16:25)

10. Exercise daily and live the Word of Wisdom. Routine exercise and control over appetites develops self mastery over our bodies. This will help control temptations directed towards the physical body.

11. Keep a daily journal of your spiritual experiences and personal growth. In general terms, write about your progress in gaining self control over temptation. Review your journal periodically.

12. Keep good company. Spend time with those who will influence you in a spiritual and positive way. Your best friends need to be those who are a spiritual and strengthening force.

13. Do not linger in the shower or bathtub. If you are sexually tempted and believe that you cannot control your thoughts, get out and dress. It is better to be physically unclean than spiritually unclean. Bathe when you have control over your thoughts.

14. Understand that sexual feelings are very sacred, God given for noble and holy purposes. Genesis 1:26-27 reads:

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Think of the opposite gender as sons or daughters of God and your brothers an sisters. See them as Heavenly Father does. He would never look down others in a sexual way.

15. As quickly as possible, resolve troubling thoughts or feelings, such as; discouragement, unhappiness, guilt, loneliness, low self esteem, insecurity, self doubt, depression, etc. When these circumstances are allowed to persist, one is left more vulnerable for sexual temptation. The adversary attempts to convince people that sexual experience is an escape from difficulty. Regardless of how difficult challenges are,  Heavenly Father holds the solution. Diligently seek the solution to any frustration. Remember with God nothing is impossible and the words of Christ will teach you all things ye must do in life. Luke 1:37 reads "For with God nothing shall be impossible." In 2 Nephi 32:2 it says "Do ye not remember that I said unto you that after ye had received the Holy Ghost ye could speak with the tongue of angles? And now, how could ye speak with the tongue of angels save it were by the Holy Ghost?"

16. Counsel with your Priesthood Leader regarding any difficulty you are having with sexual temptation. Request a Priesthood blessing if you feel impressed.

17. It is crucial not to dwell on past mistakes or fear future challenges. Self Mastery is something which has to be accomplished in the present. The Savior said, "Take ye no thought for the morrow for sufficient thereof is the evil of today."  (Matthew 6:34) Firmly resolve in your mind to achieve self mastery over sexual temptation; everyone can succeed at this if they are determined enough. Do your very best to live by every word that proceedeth forth from the mouth of God.

In summary

If we are faithfully doing our part, the adversary cannot tempt us beyond our ability to resist:

But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on His holy name, and watch and pray continually that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long-suffering; (Alma 13:28)

God has all power and His grace is sufficient to help us conquer all of our challenges or temptations. Everyone can achieve self mastery. We must exercise mighty faith, real intent, persistence, relying completely on the Savior and then we truly can do all things in Christ!

Gene W. Atkinson is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. He is employed part time at local community mental health center and maintains a private clinical practice. He has had numerous church callings including Stake President and Mission President.

3/26/00 rdh