Lisa
As far as our marriage was concerned, he wasn't sensitive... Four years into the marriage, I found out he had a problem with
masturbation and pornography. Seven years into the marriage, I find out that he was also molesting my
daughters ... It had a definite effect on our household. It tells a woman many things when a man is looking at pornography.
My relationship with my husband evolved into a love that hurt.. He became very desensitized to not only me, but to the world around him. I understand Pornography to be an addiction. I understand its effects cannot be underestimated.... By the time he was ready to straighten out his life, we had drifted so far that the marriage was not salvageable.
The portrayal of sexually explicit images has become commonplace in today's society. What once was taboo is now openly available. Pornography is defined by the dictionary as “written, graphic or other forms of communication. intended to excite lascivious or lustful feelings." It generally appeals to those who want quick sexual gratification with a minimum of emotional investment. Today, explicit sexual depictions are seen in magazines, on video cassette, on film and live on stage.
Dr. Victor Cline, a clinical psychologist at the University of Utah, is nationally regarded as an expert on the influence of Pornography on society. Dr. Cline has discovered that a consumer of Pornography often follows a four-phase pattern.
Dr. Cline says "The first is
addiction ... there's a very powerful addicting effect with pornography. They get into it and they go back again, and again, and again. The second thing that happens to them is that after a while they get desensitized to the material they see. And what was initially inappropriate, taboo-breaking, perverted, disgusting, after a while becomes acceptable. The third thing is they find a need to escalate and.. .get into rougher, more vicious, meaner kinds of material to get their turn-ons.. . and the final thing that happens is they begin to act out these sexual fantasies they've seen, either in film, or video or in magazines. Because by now they've been
desensitized ...There's no conscience left. There's nothing right or wrong anymore."
Much of the concern about pornography is that it is now being combined with violence. Many contend that this leads to violent crimes against women. Dr. Cline believes that the effects of viewing porn can also negatively influence male-female relationships... and create a great deal of pain. Lisa's marriage of seven years shows the exact scenario Dr. Cline spoke about.
Generally the people who produce and purchase pornography are men. It is produced to make money. It is purchased because of a selfish obsession with sex, a desire for instant gratification, and a desire to manipulate or control women.
Studies have shown that exposure to pornography leads to the acceptance of the so-called "RAPE MYTH".. That is, that women actually enjoy being sexually assaulted. One study revealed that nearly 60 percent of the men surveyed showed indications that they would rape a woman if they knew they could get away with it. Dr. Cline says that for the good of society, some restraints are needed. Just as we have rights to protect the drinking water from being contaminated.. .that in democratic ways it is appropriate for limitations to be placed on pornography to prevent our children from being contaminated.
The Attorney General's 1986 Commission on Pornography found a definite link between hard-core porn and sex crimes. Their 2000 page report contained 93 recommendations to serve as a guide for governments to crack down on hard-core pornography--a 9 billion dollar a year industry.
Reverend Jerry Kirk, the President of the National Coalition Against Pornography said: “Pornography has led our society, first of all, to become promiscuous. It has helped lead to the disintegration of the family structure and moral life... It has led through that promiscuity to sexually transmitted diseases of epidemic proportions. Some people say that the pornography issue is a religious issue, others say it's a moral issue, but for everybody it's become a public safety issue."
HOW CAN I HELP IN THE FIGHT AGAINST PORNOGRAPHY?
· Avoid personal and family exposure to pornography
· Know its effects and dangers
· Take effective personal and community action
· Support enforcement of constitutional antipornography laws.
AVOID PERSONAL & FAMILY EXPOSURE TO PORNOGRAPHY:
Safeguard Your Family
Set personal and family standards that focus on human dignity and wholesome living. Have open family discussions with children of suitable age about pornography and its dangers. Emphasize the sacred nature of the human body and the joy of proper sexual relationships.
· Avoid places where pornography is believed to exist.
· Control and monitor television viewing in the family.
· Control and monitor computer programs. Children can
access Internet for cyber-porn.
· Select movies and other entertainment based on reliable reviews.
· Read good books,... and read them to your children.
· Be aware of unsuitable music and lyrics.
· Discuss their impact on young people and others.
Know the Effects and Dangers of Pornography
Those who treat pornography victims report that many who are exposed to pornography progress through four stages:
1. Addiction
This addiction of the mind can be as powerful as any drug, alcohol, or cigarette
addiction of the body.
2. Escalation
Progressively coarser material may be sought to satisfy the addiction.
3. Desensitization
With continued exposure, what at first offends becomes acceptable and then craved.
4. Acting Out
The thought is father to the deed. There is a great tendency to translate thoughts into actions. Many reliable studies and wide experience in law enforcement and personal counseling show that pornography is a significant contributing factor--often the triggering cause--of child abuse, violent crimes against women, teenage pregnancy and suicide, drug abuse, broken marriages, and broken lives.
TAKE EFFECTIVE PERSONAL AND COMMUNITY ACTION
Your most effective personal tools are your voice, your pen, your patronage, and your participation. Pornography is a $9
billion per year industry in the United States, plus production from other nations make it a worldwide cancer destructive of a safe and peaceful society. Law enforcement agencies have also found that much pornography is tied to organized crime. It will fail when unprofitable.
· If a local store sells or rents offensive materials, tell the manager (kindly but firmly) that you want to patronize that business but cannot if it undermines your family's values. A personal visit is most effective. Individualized letters also help.
Merchants interpret each customer expression as representing 100 others who feel the same way but who remain silent.
· Join with others such as the Philippine Alliance Against Pornography, S.T.O.P. (Stop Trafficking of Philipinos Foundation) Concerned Women of the Philippines, and Religious Alliance Against Pornography in urging merchants to discontinue marketing offensive materials and in encouraging enforcement of constitutional laws relating to pornography. Small local groups (PTA's, service clubs, neighborhood organizations) are also successful in mounting campaigns against this growing threat.
· Write or visit movie theater, radio and television station managers, newspaper editors, and others to express concerns or commendations if they are featuring good programs. Write to companies sponsoring advertising in offensive publications or shown with offensive television programs.
Remember, obscene materials are illegal. They are not constitutionally protected. Indecent materials may be regulated by law. And you are free to let your patronage reflect your values as to what you personally find offensive.
SUPPORT ENFORCEMENT OF ANTI-PORNOGRAPHY LAWS
· Understand that pornography and obscenity are illegal. The Philippines has laws making pornography illegal.
·
Let law enforcement personnel know that you and your neighbors want antipornography laws enforced. Insist that abusive or sexually violent pornography be confiscated, and the producers and distributors be prosecuted.
·
Alert officials to the sources of obscene materials coming to your attention.
·
Encourage legislators to enact additional laws where needed in such areas as telephone pornography. cyber-porn (Internet computer pornography). cable television and movies.
·
Encourage legislators to enact laws that criminalize all aspects of child pornography. including its production. distribution and possession. including child sex tourism.
·
Encourage cooperative international law enforcement efforts to curb and control Pornography.
ORGANIZATIONS SUPPORTING THE FIGHT AGAINST PORNOGRAPHY IN THE PHILIPPINES:
Philippine Alliance Against Pornography
The National Council of Churches in the Philippines
Stop Trafficking of Philipinos (S.T.O.P.) Foundation Inc
Marriage Encounter Foundation of The Philippines
Center For Christian Concerns
Focolare Movement
San Buhayan Resource Center
and
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
