Chapter 11 - Suggestions and Afterthoughts

Hold On To Hope: Help for LDS Addicts and Their Families, By Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone and Dr. Rick H. (1996)

    Below is an excerpt from a poem entitled Stradivarius.

When any man holds twixt hand and chin
A violin of mine
They will be glad Stradivarius lived, made violins
And made them of the best
The Masters only know whose work is good
And they will choose mine
For while God gives them skill
I give them instruments to play upon
God choosing me to help him,
For God could not make Antonio Stradivarius' violin
without Antonio

        J.C. Penney is known to have said that the solution to any problem will come in the form of a human being. The work of reaching out as shepherds is as constant as time. In Ezekiel 34 we read about shepherds in the 34th chapter. Consider these verses:

Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord God unto the shepherds; Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves! Should not the shepherds feed the flocks? Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool, ye kill them that are fed: but ye feed not the flock. The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them. And they were scattered, because there is no shepherd: and they became meat to all the beasts of the field, when they were scattered. My sheep wandered through all the mountains, and upon every high hill: yea, my flock was scattered upon all the face of the earth, and none did search or seek after them. (Ezekiel 34: 2-6)

        Whether it be Antonio Stradivarius, a shepherd, or as J.C. Penney said a human being, there is a need for all of us to help.
        Victor Hugo states in Les Miserables: "The shepherd does not recoil from the diseased sheep." We must not recoil; we must seek after them, wherever they may wander. Drug addicts have wandered into thickets, dangerous crevices and deep ravines. Shepherds must seek them out. The prophet's words are tender and pitiful: "My flock was scattered upon all the face of the earth and none did search or seek after them."
        Here are five suggestions to consider:

1. The need for family members and church leaders to get involved
        In the 1984 edition of the Resource Manual for Helping Families with Alcohol Problems church leaders were forewarned:

Many church members drink alcoholic beverages [and use other drugs], causing serious problems for themselves and their families . . . There is an urgent need for concerned leaders and friends to help these people stop drinking [and using other drugs] and keep their family members from starting. (p. 2; © Copyright by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Used by permission.)

        The Lord must be pleased with priesthood leaders, members, parents, family, and friends who seek after His flock. The accounts in this book encourage people not to give up, to minister to the diseased (addicted) sheep in a Christlike way with unconditional love. Ted Olsen said:

And ninety and nine are with dreams content
But the hope of a world made new
Is the hundredth man who is grimly bent
On making the dream come true.

        Everyone's involvement is essential. The church has surely reached out in loving kindness through its many resources, namely manuals, video tapes such as The Prodigal, lessons, other curricula, priesthood leader training, Ensign and New Era articles, conference talks, pamphlets, financial support, and the organization of a Social Services Division in our General Welfare Department.
        It has been my personal experience that this wonderful church has reached out even to the undeserving - those who have rebelled against their parents and the church, others involved in lying, stealing and deliberate, willful alliance with Satanic forces. Many parents and family members will witness that the church did not give up, even when all appeared to be lost.
        Every priesthood leader has a divine mandate to do all in his power to save every member of the flock, however far he or she may stray. God bless the hundredth man, woman, parent or priesthood leader who gets involved.

2. The concept of church leaders being "shepherds," not physicians and psychologists
        It seems unfair to expect Bishops, Young Men and Young Women presidencies, seminary teachers and other church leaders to become chemical dependency specialists. In a practical sense, it is unrealistic, given the priorities and time constraints of these leaders, to ask them to become heavily involved in the problems of alcohol and other drug abuse. As servants of Heavenly Father they were called to be "spiritual" leaders. Many seem to be most content and most useful to Him when they pursue what they were called to do: act as spiritual leaders (shepherds, not physicians). If needed, they should identify reliable resources in the local area and refer addicts for professional help as needed. King Benjamin helps us to understand the concept of order in the following scriptures:

And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you - that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God - I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants. And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order. (Mosiah 4: 26-27)

        Imagine, we must follow King Benjamin's counsel "for the sake of retaining a remission of our sins from day to day." "All these things," he continues, "are done in wisdom and order." Order is a critical issue of today. The world has been immersed in knowledge and understanding. The brightest minds are constantly probing unknown areas in the past to find solutions for the future. Specialists and professionals in the field of chemical addiction may be required to assist those suffering from alcohol and drug related problems.
As members of the church our responsibilities rest in providing loving, caring support, in reaching out and searching after as shepherds do, in exercising the greatest acts of charity we have ever been called upon to perform. We must always and ever remember the promise that "charity never faileth" (1 Cor. 13:8).
        We cannot be the specialists; we must be the watchmen, the shepherds, the nurturers. And we must never, never, never give up. God bless those who may not have all the technical knowledge and skills, but who surely have the love and spiritual strength to help.

3. Church leaders in a unique position to help
        Church leaders are in a unique position to be involved in the daily personal lives of members. They have the trust of thousands of LDS families, many of which are experiencing the "highs" and the "lows" of chemical addiction. These leaders' unique position with LDS families and their willingness to understand the alcohol and drug issue offer a positive outlook on the prevention and intervention of LDS chemical addiction.
Leaders who are called, ordained and set apart are endowed with many blessings. These are gifts of the Spirit which can be called upon at the precise time of need. Section 46 of the Doctrine and Covenants, verse 27, states:

And unto the bishop of the church, and unto such as God shall appoint and ordain to watch over the church and to be elders unto the church, are to have it given unto them to discern all those gifts lest there shall be any among you professing and yet be not of God.

        Imagine what it means to "have it given to discern all those gifts." The God of heaven does not call us to serve His people and then leave us without direct guidance. Those who humbly and meekly serve and submit to His greater will, always have the needed gifts when they are truly warranted. Verses 11 through 30 in this same section tell of the kindness, the goodness, and the tenderness of our God when his children humbly submit themselves to the work they are called to perform.
        I have a witness that direct revelation and inspiration accompany great, noble priesthood leaders who love and serve their fellowmen. Remember, brethren and sisters, you who lead are in a unique position to help.

4. Church leaders and family members need to demonstrate the kind of love shown in Prodigal Son (tough love) as well as Good Samaritan kind of love (Unconditional love)
        One of the greatest challenges of dealing with the chemically dependent is changing the role from that of "advocate" of total abstinence to that of a "fellowshipper" of the addict-to change from one who gives only compassion to one who confronts the issue; from one who patiently endures to one who anxiously intervenes. This is, needless to say, a difficult task, but church leaders should know they are innocently providing "unhelpful help" if they always and only demonstrate unconditional love in the life of an addict.
        I have been involved as an advocate and as a fellowshipper. I can witness to you that being an advocate allows us to stay in our comfort zone. It is simply a matter of putting into word and practice the doctrines and principles we have been taught all our lives. As advocates we teach and say all the right things, we promise our prayers and support, yet we do not get involved.
General Lucius Paulus, sometimes called Macedonicus, explains the true concept of fellowshipping:

Commanders should be counseled chiefly by persons of known talent, by those who have made the art of war their particular study, and whose knowledge is derived from experience, by those who are present at the scene of action, who see the enemy, who see the advantages that occasions offer, and who, like people embarked in the same ship are sharers of the danger.If, therefore, anyone thinks himself qualified to give advice respecting the war which I am about to conduct, let him not refuse his assistance to the state, but let him come with me into Macedonia. He shall be furnished with a ship, a tent, even his traveling charges will be defrayed, but if he thinks this too much trouble, and prefers the repose of a city life to the toils of war, let him not on land assume the office of a pilot. The city in itself furnishes abundance of topics for conversation; let it confine its passion for talking to its own precincts and rest assured that we shall pay no attention to any counsel but such as shall be framed within our camp. (General Lucius Aemilius Paulus (surnamed Macedonicus), Roman General and Patrician, C. 229-160 B.C.)

Fellowshippers qualify because they get involved; they see the event up close and share of the same dangers.
        Fellowshipping involves confrontation, tough love, and a desire to assist the addict in making the necessary change. Fellowshipping requires anxious intervention and great charity. There is no substitute for involvement if it is done in a Christlike way, which requires an application of unconditional love, charity, chastising, rebuking, tenderness, gentleness, love unfeigned, persuasion, suffering, anguishing, and patience. It is a Christlike mixture of all of the ingredients of tough love combined with unconditional Christlike charity.

5. A thought about "moralistic sermons"
        Research has suggested that parents, teachers and church leaders have not been seen by adolescents as credible sources of information about alcohol and drugs. That is, church leaders and parents typically teach only the last stage of addiction and its evils while their youth see the first stage of addiction and its pleasure (See Chapter One). These type of moralistic sermons against alcohol and drugs using only scare tactics are likely to result in adolescents' dismissing the lecture and turning to their friends for more information. Church leaders and parents must be sure to teach young people correct principles and then recognize that each individual has moral agency to decide.
        For the most part, sin is pleasurable. It appeals to our fleshly appetites. Life's battle is a struggle between discipline and indulgence - indulgences like food, sex, vices, and pornography which bring pleasure and momentary satisfaction.
        Discipline requires control, discipleship, trust, integrity, and honesty as well as other character traits. Youth and those enslaved by addiction need to hear and understand not just the final consequence of indulgence, but the deceptive, flagrant snares that trap them. They need to know that their leaders understand temptation and sin are pleasurable in the beginning. They need to know how Satan uses his subtlety to carefully lead them down to hell. They must also be taught there is always a consequence for transgression, that they have control over their decisions but not over the consequences. Consequences can carry a lifetime of sorrow, regret, disease, physical impairment, and mental impairment.
        Church leaders need to warn, plead, beg, and teach the youth to listen and heed their counsel. Few are prepared for the consequences of sin. As they would do anything righteous to save their youth from "physical" danger, so should they do everything in their power to save the youth from "spiritual" danger.
        Moral agency belongs to everyone individually. Each can influence and be influenced. The leader's responsibility is to influence for good, to be an example of virtue, honor, control and the eventual consequence of a good Christian life. God has promised pleasures and blessings beyond any dreams and expectations for those who simply are obedient and keep His commandments.